Happy Birthday to me -- made it to 35...woohoo!
No, I'm not weird, but I really am happy about turning 35. I'm not worried about my eggs drying up overnight, as medical reports would suggest. I'm not concerned about not reaching the goals I set as an over achieving 25 year old in my ten year plan. And I'm really not mad about not being the same size I was when I was 21 (my dress sense was awful, my hair was just wrong and honestly, I look better now, so it's really all good.)
So why am I writing this? Well, I was out running the day before my birthday, so aged 34 years and 364 days (ok, at the point I had this thought I was really walking, but you know, details) and it dawned on me that life really is good and that I really need to take a chill pill and relax.
So many things have changed beyond recognition in the last two years. I left a great career and well paying job. Rented out my home, moved to another country, got married to a fabulous man who amazes me every day. Looked for a new job (because it would be easy, right?) Couldn't find a job so started my own business. Joined a church, made new friends, ran a marathon (yes, my joints still hurt, but I'm doing another one) learned to drive on the wrong side of the road, got a book deal and have learned to live on less money than I was making as a graduate 13 years ago.
Yes, life has changed...
So back to the run. It dawned on me that we're always being told stuff like '40 is the new 30', '50 is the new 40' -- but what about being happy with where you're at?
I recall turning 30 with a certain amount of dread after returning from a trip around the world, because there were things I should have achieved... marriage, a house, some children, a glittering career (that bit was ok, but I wasn't happy, so what does that tell you?). As 35 approached, people started to ask me how I felt (especially other friends who had already turned 35) and all I could say was 'EXCITED!' Why do we view getting older as a bad thing? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to do certain things within a particular time frame? I hold my hands up and say I used to be like that, but during the run (ok, walk) I made a pledge to myself that this year, there would be none of that. I'm just going to approach everything with confidence and a smile and if it makes me feel anything less than ok, then it's out.
I don't want to hear about diets, scales of succees, lastest fashions trends, the places I should be eating, the destintions that are 'hot' right now. I don't want to be compared to others or for others to compare themselves to me. I don't want to be told that I have to have a child because my eggs are old and ready to be put out to pasture. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in denial, but I just want to embrace this life without the nonsense and toxicity that comes with it.
This blog is my way to document that feeling and share year 35 with others who are between their 30s and 40s....life is great just where we are!!! So my reasons to be cheerful this week are;
1) I'm 35 and all of my immediate family are still alive
2) I have friends I've known for 25 years
3) My husband is the kindest human being I know
4) My body still works. A few modifications here and there (not for vanity!) but it's all doing what it needs to
5) I like myself and will no longer be ruled by a dress size, my weight or what the media says I should dress in. My butt is big, thanks to genetics. My skeleton isn't even a size zero and skinny jeans just ain't happening for me. Really, it's ok. I'm a journalist, but I could strangle some of my fashion editorial colleagues sometimes. If you could start looking at stuff for women a size 10/12 up (US sizing), that would be fab. Thanks much.
Ok, enough from me - I'm off for a mani-pedi. Your comments welcome too!
More next week....
xx
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You go girl! Yes, anything can done if you put your mind to it - age is not a barrier to anything. My mum is looking to start her own business at 59! But, one little teeny thing I do disagree with you on......I am worried about my eggs drying up as you so delicately put it! Having reached 35 some 9 months before you, you little whippersnapper, and therefore only 3 months from 36, it is a worry of mine. Perhaps it comes with the territory when you work for a medical journal but I am surrounded by articles explaining how fertility really does significantly decline after the age of 35. Now that is not to say you will never get pregnant once you reach that 35th birthday - of course not - but it will be more difficult and there are more risks attached. So, I do worry about that in my darkest moments. But in my lighter ones? Well I just optimistically believe that I will be in the percentage of women who will be fine!
ReplyDeleteI also do think the tide is turning a little when it comes to issues such as work, what car you drive, what fancy holiday you have just been on, which top end stereo system you have just bought etc. etc. I think more and more people (particularly women it has to be said, but not all), are waking up to the fact that actually all those things do not automatically ensure happiness. They are looking at their lifestyles and thinking "sod this, I would much rather be sitting on the beach with the hubby/boyfriend/girlfriend/friends/parents/kids with a homemade picnic" than having to work 60 hrs in the week to pay for a weekend away where you are so stressed that you don't enjoy yourself. You are starting to hear more and more people say it. So while the recession has had a severe negative impact on a lot of people (and I don't want to belittle its impact as it has had a negative inpact on my family and friends too), we may be able to draw some positives out of it as people move back to a slightly simpler, less frenetic way of life. One caveat, is that we have seen this before in our lifetime and these things do tend to be cyclical, I am sure in the early 90s people were living a more simple, less frenetic way of life after the last recession.......But, oh, slap my cynical side down when I was there trying to be all positive!
xxx