The weight of the world on (young) shoulders

Sup family?

Loads of stuff has been happening, which I'll fill you in on, but just a quick update on two things that really disturbed me over the weekend and which really illustrates why we have to be careful about what we put out in the world (ok, this won't be quick - it'll end up being as long as the Sermon on the Mount, I'm sure...but you'll understand why).

Summer is coming and it's time to keep cool and look cute, so I was out shopping over the weekend. With an arm bent out of shape thanks to the sheer weight of the clothes I was carrying (gotta love those discount stores!) I headed to the fitting room with the grumpy faced assistant (Girlfriend, it's really not my fault that you're working on a Sunday. You have a job, which is more than most folks right now.....fix ya face, as my Bajan Mama would say)

Anyway, by the time I got to dress number 10 and had placed most of the clothes in the 'maybe' pile, my ears tuned into a conversation between some young girls in the cubicle next door. They were chattering the way girls do about the outfits they were trying on, their upcoming holiday to see the family in Mexico and why it's safer to drive than to fly "Because planes just, you know, fall out of the sky and you die. Much better to drive. Why don't you drive with me?".

**SCREECH** What?! These girls couldn't have been more than about 10 years old at the absolute most, but they were having a very serious conversation about the dangers and merits of different forms of transport. It stopped me dead in my tracks. Is the media just pumping out too much bad news? Is this what they worry about? Should children even be THINKING about this kind of danger at their age? What happened to messing with Barbie and Ken? Playing jump rope and hopscotch? I so wanted to reassure them that flying is ok, that what happened with the Air France flight, isn't common, that pilots really don't die at the controls on a regular basis and it's really not that often that you'll see a plane land on the Hudson River. But if I'd said anything, bearing in mind what they see and hear on the tv and radio, they probably would've thought I was some crazy woman and been like, 'yea, whatever'.

But it gets worse. So I go back to my clothes (I'm on to skirts by this point - more in the 'maybe' pile) when the girls start talking about size. One of them said "I'm so happy - this is a size 4 and it fits!" The other girl responds; "You're so lucky to be able to wear a size 4, size 6's don't even fit me." Again, I say "WHAT?"Young girls worrying about weight and what size they are? How an outfit fits? Unbelievable.

What message are we sending out to young women ( and men too) that they have to look a certain way, be a particular size? Why not 'be the best you can be and be happy'? As women, especially, we are conditioned that 'thin is good, big is bad'. As I said to my homie the other day, I look at it this way. My shape (curvy, thank you very much) is a carbon copy of my Mum's and that of my sisters. If I continuely complain and berate my figure, then I'm being negative about them too. And in reality, would I ever say that my Mum or my sisters are unattractive because they have curves in all the right places? I would NEVER say that. Ever. So why is it ok to say it to myself and destroy my own self worth?

As older women that (should) know better, every time we complain about ourselves, we're planting seeds of doubt into the minds of our youngsters. We're giving the gift of self deprecation and years of self loathing. Just think about the things you were told when you were younger. Still rattling around in your mind, even today?

Let's try to lift the weight off of these young shoulders. Children should be just that, children. Your thoughts please...

P.S I didn't buy a thing in the end....